Sunday, January 13, 2008

judging a movie by its inanely crappy title

Pardon my recent vacations. I've missed you all too.

Now onto more pressing concerns:

Can someone in Hollywood PLEASE stop greenlighting movies with shitty titles? Exhibit 1: Definitely, Maybe. Horrible premise, problematic casting, and an excruciatingly terribly title. Would you go to a movie called "Definitely, Maybe" on the title alone? What the hell are you supposed to know about a movie called that? Think even more baseline: would you bother picking up a book called "Definitely, Maybe"? A magazine? A free newspaper? Even if just for the crossword puzzle?

Let's not even get into the problems that this title runs into in the correct-English department. Is it too much to ask to have appropriately syntactic titles as well?

The movie looks to be a grotesque redemptive feel-good have-faith-in-families love story where no one ends up angry and characters who should end up hating others likely don't. Ryan Reynolds (who?) plays a single dad to young Oscar-nominated Abigail Breslin. Wait a minute.... did this character have his daughter when he was 12? Ryan Reynolds looks about old enough to still get carded in bars. And he's sort of cross-eyed. Meanwhile, Breslin gets to play the precocious and too-smart-for-her-age little girl who has a better barometer for her father's well-being than he does. Reality check: are there any movies or TV shows anymore that don't have pre-teens who have a better handle on life than their elders?

6 comments:

Christina said...

"Movies I will never see" - lol! I love your take on things.

BTW, I'm sitting here, stuffed. I went to Gordo and just consumed a fantastic carnitas super burrito. I almost texted you from line, but then decided that was too mean.

Christina said...

Oh yeah, hate the title too. I'm a sucker for these sorts of films, but even I'm going to pass.

Writeprocrastinator said...

If you squint, Ryan looks like Ben Affleck and I thought they would never be cast in a movie together until they actually were in "Smokin' Aces." Of course Ben's character is killed off before they can be in the same scene together, because it would've got confusing during gunfights and such with the editing-style that goes with action.

"Reality check: are there any movies or TV shows anymore that don't have pre-teens who have a better handle on life than their elders?"

I don't like casting like this. Putting good actors like Isla Fisher, Rachael Weisz and Breslin into third-rate rom-coms that should be the domain of "actresses" like Jessica Simpson, but I guess everybody has to put food on the table.

Long_Division said...

Reminds me of Love, Indubitably.

Dale said...

There should never be a comma anywhere near any film title. Maybe Ryan was up for Little Miss Sunshine and Abigail got him this job so he wouldn't feel so bad.

Gwenelle said...

I'm so glad somebody feels the same way about this movie title as I do. I might still give the movie a chance (I've got an in with a theatre employee so I hardly ever pay for tickets) but the title definitely (no maybe about it) makes me think twice.