Tuesday, July 11, 2006

snippets of conversations I had at the Apple store today

(at this store, actually. The store is underground, and smaller than you would think. Lots of people, lots of greasy fingerprints on merchandise. Imagine the picture during daylight and with an exodus of people milling around outside)

1)
Sales Representative (#1) with stained Apple Store uniform T-shirt: What seems to be the problem, sir?
Me: My iPod is broken.
Sales Rep #1: Have you....
Me: My computer won't read it. I've tried resetting it. I've tried putting it in disk mode.
Sale Rep #1: Well just go ahead and sign your name in the computer here.
Me: Do I have to use my real name?

2)
Sales Representative (#2), cleaner, with clipboard: I'm sorry sir, have you checked in yet?
Me: The guy [points to sour cream-like stain] told me to stand over here.
Sales Rep #2: Well, they won't call your name to the Genius Bar unless you double check with me.
Me: Looks like I'm double checking now. We're double checking.

3)
Sales Representative (#3), curly hair, curly beard: What brings you in to us today?
Me: My iPod is broken.
Sales Rep #3: Have you....
Me: The computer doesn't read it, it won't reset, disk mode does jack.
Sales Rep #3: Ah, it looks like your hard drive is on the way out.
Me: [curious if this Sales Rep needed a perm for that hair] Out where?
Sales Rep #3: Well, starting to fail, I mean. This particular model has been known to have these problems, especially if it gets jarred around a lot. Do you go running with it every day?
Me: No.
Sales Rep #3: Well, jogging I mean.
Me: No.
Sales Rep #3: Biking?
Me: No.
Sales Rep #3: Have you dropped it a few times?
Me: I suppose I could now, right?
Sales Rep #3: I don't think there's much we can do for this guy then. Sorry.
Me: Bummer. Can I use this exit, or do I go for the glass ceiling?

4 comments:

shecanfilmit said...

Uh, that's why I have a Creative Zen Micro. I jog (well, shuffle) with it a few times a week and it keeps playing. And when it gets broken, I think I paid for the extended warranty because I knew I'd drop it a few times (did I just say that?) and will take it back to Best Buy and avoid an Apple store.

Long_Division said...

I sent mine in to Applecare (for $50 they refurbish it) and it works perfectly. (But that didn't stop me from buying the new fancy 60G video one anyway, because I'm an asshole.)

Taylor Lauren said...

Found you via friend's friend's friend. Maybe another friend. Awesome blog.

The Apple Store in Durham, NC, cracks me up. It must be a thousand times worse in NYC, though. Everytime I go to the Genius Bar (one more time and I get a new computer!), there are at least 30 people in front of me with iPod problems. But honestly, I can't insult the Geniuses. Once, a guy spent 6 hours on mine alone, trying to recover a movie that I was making for school.

They're just all so damn smarmy! Going to the Apple Store is like a real-life Apple ad. All plastic glasses and nerd-chic.

is that so wrong? said...

shecanfilmit / LD: I foolishly did not indulge in AppleCare for my iPod whence I bought it two years ago (odd, because I'm a believer in AppleCare), so looks like this one's a junker. 60 gig video iPod here I come, eventually. Assholes unite!

Taylor L: I think it's a trait of all Apple Stores to be too busy, like they're trying to fit as many people as they can into a VW Beetle or something. I too am wary of getting too close to the Genius Bar personnel.... perhaps similar to how I'm wary of getting too close to the Dungeons & Dragons/Magic cards/Renaissance Faire set.